Blame It On The Alcohol
When it comes to the confounding being that is woman (so I've heard), what man hasn't turned to alcohol for a little liquid courage? Depending on how you handle yourself, alcohol can be a bane or a boon. That new swagger in your step may pass for confidence, but one drink too many can cripple you mid-stride. Better keep count of how many you've had, lest you become one of these cautionary tales:
The Over-Sharer:
Trust me, she really doesn't want to know about your intense cockroach phobia or how your last girlfriend dumped you.
Trust me, she really doesn't want to know about your intense cockroach phobia or how your last girlfriend dumped you.
The Irresponsible Driver:
Threaten her chances of getting home in one piece and her brother's merry gang of thugs will be sure to reciprocate.
Threaten her chances of getting home in one piece and her brother's merry gang of thugs will be sure to reciprocate.
Forgetful Jones:
Sure you managed to grow the cojones to ask her out, but then you don't remember if she said yes or no. You can either ask her to remind you, assume she said yes and show up that evening, or assume she said no and run the risk of standing her up. Either way, you're home alone.
Sure you managed to grow the cojones to ask her out, but then you don't remember if she said yes or no. You can either ask her to remind you, assume she said yes and show up that evening, or assume she said no and run the risk of standing her up. Either way, you're home alone.
The Drunk Dialler:
If she likes you, one giddy drunken phone call makes you cute. Ten calls in succession make you annoying. Drunk and weepy on the phone puts you squarely in the Freak category.
If she likes you, one giddy drunken phone call makes you cute. Ten calls in succession make you annoying. Drunk and weepy on the phone puts you squarely in the Freak category.
Stinky Pete:
You're supposed to drink the alcohol, not gargle with it. If you're gonna lean in for some intimate conversation, pop a breath mint or touch up on the Axe Twist, for crying out loud.
You're supposed to drink the alcohol, not gargle with it. If you're gonna lean in for some intimate conversation, pop a breath mint or touch up on the Axe Twist, for crying out loud.
There's nothing sadder than a bro that can't hold his liquor. Except maybe when his date drinks him under the table. Bottom line is, you want to keep her interested. Not holding your hair while you hurl.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Mashups have become so popular, it's spilled over into the literary genre with surprisingly good results. From its title alone, the novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is already a winner.
The average male probably wouldn't be caught dead near a Jane Austen novel. But throw in a couple thousand zombies, fight scenes, and concealed weapons, and you've got a crowd pleaser. The plot is pretty much the same, with talk of manners, upbringing, social standing and marrying well. Mrs. Bennet is still hoping for wealthy husbands for her girls, while Elizabeth and Darcy are still locked in19th century verbal foreplay. But this time a healthy injection of zombies all scattered throughout the novel, with the Bennet sisters now trained in weaponry and fighting. (I supposed your chances of marrying well are significantly lower when the men have all been turned or eaten) Bonus points for blood and gore too.
The mashup results in general hilarity as you devour the novel that once put you to sleep before the first chapter ended. Fans of the classic novel won't be disappointed either, as it does stay true to Jane Austen's tone. This just really goes to show that an unexpected twist can breathe new life into a classic. Might be worth putting that Playstation controller down and getting a little literary.